CATEGORY:QUESTION/ANSWER ----------------------------- INSIDE GRENADA SUNDAY May 13,2007 by Karasi Dear Karasi I am 21 years old. I have a relationship with a guy who is 33 years old. He loves me a lot but does not like to party and is sometimes boring. There is this other guy that has been asking me out. He is the fun type and I know that we can have a good time together. What do you think I should do? Party girl ******************************** Dear Party Girl, In relationships there are often contrasting personality traits that can result in conflict. These potential "bacchanal sessions" can be deterred through one of the most vital elements of a relationship – communication. You, being the more outgoing, fete-loving type clash against his subdued personality. Have you expressed your craving for a more exciting lifestyle to him? Have you made suggestions to him? Why can't you be the initiator? Perhaps there are other activities you two can engage in besides partying. Find some thing that the both of you can enjoy. Also, the age difference may be a great factor in your ‘polarized tastes.’ You are now in your "roaring twenties". You are young, active, and experiencing a level of freedom and independence you have not tasted before. He, on the other hand, has gone through this phase already. He has probably experienced the wildlife; been there, done that and is now prepared to settle down. The question is, are you ready? If you are bored in the relationship, talk to him about it. Boredom may lead your eyes to wander. You both need to learn how to compromise if you want to make this partnership work out. Analyze the relationship. Make a list of the things you love about him and list what you don't admire. I must reiterate that communication is vital. Have you ever given any thought to organizing a girls' night out with your friends, or finding a group of friends that you can go out with? You can have fun outside of the relationship without compromising your fidelity. Take note that if you see too many differences between you and communication does not work, you may want to consider if this relationship is really best for you at this phase in your life. Just think it over carefully. Remember your happiness takes priority, but whatever you do, do not cheat. I know that other guy is tempting but try to avoid the drama. Be Strong. Be thoughtful. Be You. Karasi You can send your questions to Karasi at blu_poet@hotmail.com