A conflict arises when two or more values, perspectives and opinions are contradictory in nature and haven't been agreed upon. It is quite normal and natural to have conflicts. This is very healthy and useful for our development and for interpersonal relationships. What should not be normal is poor management of conflict. Conflicts expose us to different points of views. They give us an excellent opportunity to express our views and discuss problems. They even give us an opportunity to find ways to address our problems. Conflicts allow us to gather new information and strengthen relationships. While conflict can be good, it can be very bad and can lead to a number of problems and regrets. When there is a conflict it can affect a person’s ability to participate and learn. It can slow down performance and progress, even worse, it can destroy people’s self esteem and affect how they see and appreciate others. Conflict can grow into greater conflicts and can cause a display of unacceptable and, inappropriate behaviors. When conflicts are not managed well, they can even lead to loss of life and can destroy relationships forever. It is therefore important that we do all in our power to manage our conflicts at home, in school, on the job and indeed everywhere. This can be a very difficult task, but by doing it repeatedly, we can get better at it. One of the key ways to manage our conflicts is to respect others, their views and their wishes. Often times a conflict grows into an undesirable situation when one person looses respect for another and forget that every individual have the right to an opinion even if it is totally different to theirs. There is no point trying to push your views down another person’s throat. If your efforts to convince a person fails, then accept that it will be impossible to convince every one of your own views and beliefs. As we interact daily we will not escape persons who wish us bad or those who will be disappointed when we succeed. Remember these persons in your prayers and never return their bad deeds. Do not harbor bad thoughts or feelings about people, as this can erupt during a conflict. Another key way to manage a conflict is to listen. Listening is a skill that takes time to master. Often times when we don’t listen actively it can cause a conflict or push a conflict to the point that it becomes unmanageable. Allow others to express their views without interruptions and then proceed to add your own. If you are a good listener and the other party is not providing a listening ear, share that concern with them and if it becomes difficult to share your view, explain to them why you should postpone the discussion for another occasion. Demand respect but always be prepared to give respect. In many instances a person’s behavior is linked to their past. Persons, who had dreadful experiences in their past such as being raped or losing a parent at a young age, often demonstrate the hurt, regret and disappointments during conflict with others. It is important to empathize and even attempt to find them help. Admitting when you are wrong is also important in conflict management. If in your heart you know that you acted incorrectly, it is healthy to admit that you did. This action denotes strength. For persons who find it difficult to control their anger, it is amazing what a prayer can do. It is amazing what counting one to ten can do. These simple strategies have saved many lives and prevented many unfortunate circumstances. It is always important and healthy to give an angry person an opportunity to express his or her self, once respect is maintain. Except it is absolutely necessary, avoid interrupting them. Since conflicts are inescapable and part of life, it is absolutely necessary that we learn how to make the best and get the best out of every conflict we encounter. Good Luck. Inside Grenada News