Once upon a time some Antiguans pay a group of Bajans
to go in Jamaica and bounce dong two big mango tree.
All de mango fall dong and many fruit were lost.
De Jamaicans get vex and decide to start a war. Dey went
in Caricom an' akse de committee to approve a war
De Caricom members get confuse one time.
"Why Trinidad?" dey aksed.
"Becah everybady know Manning dred. Even doh dem nah
acktally bounce dong we tree dem, dem makin' weapan'a
Mango Destruction an' me wah stap it." Replied
So Caricom sen' inspectors in Trinidad to look for
weapons of Mango Destruction. All dey fine was one
Julie mango under Manning bed and two bottle wid mango
chutney in de Red House. Caricom tell Jamaica to cool
dey herbs. Trinidad have no Long Range Mango plans.
But de Jamaicans was determined to invade Trinidad.
Dey give Trinidad forty-eight hours to hand over all
All in a sudden de rest of de Caribbean start taking
sides. One side get vex wid Jamaica and say how it
wasn't Trini who bounce dong no mango tree and how is
only Trinidad oil de Jamaicans want. De nex' side bawl
"yes yes! Dem Trini was always too fresh-up! All dey
doing is wine'in an' playing mas! Dey trying to
destroy morality wid all dat slackness. We mus' go een
an' make dem see de error of dey ways.
Well is now Trinidadians get frighten. Even doh
Manning was letting de country fall apart an' only
lining he pockets, dey was more frighten of Jamaica.
Grenada Prime Minister jump up an' say how he support
Jamaica even doh de whole country tell he to hush he
mout' an' stay out of dat war.
In de meantime now, St. Lucia was buildin' secret
weapons of Mango Destruction ready to aim at Jamaica.
Dominica had one set of biological mango germs hide
away an' St. Vincent warn Jamaica dat if dey invade
Trinidad, dey will get vex wid dem.
So forty-eight hours pass and Jamaica an' Grenada
invade Trinidad, irregardless. Jamaica give Guyana
ninety trillion dollars so dey could lan' dey fighters
jets dere. Guyana like no better joke, dey take de
money an' build plenty boat and slip in Trinidad in de
So anyway, Jamaica an' Grenada in Trinidad destroying
all de cane, de rice, de banana. When de res' of de
Caribbean akse Jamaica where all de Mango weapons is,
Jamaica din answer.
To protect de Trinidadian citizens, Jamaica take over
all de oil wells and sen' barrels back to Jamaica to
keep safe. Dey bomb every big buildin' in case Manning
was hiding dere. De Trinidadians soldiers surrender
right away because dey din want to risk getting injure
an' miss coming up to Toronto for Caribana.
Jamaica never fine any Mango weapons but dey switch de
Trini flag to Ites, Green an' Gold, make Manning wear
a rasta weave and all oil in Trinidad had to be sent
to Jamaica so dey could sell it back to Trinidad.