ARCHITECT: Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become
an engineer nor gay enough to become a designer.

BANKER: Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is

shining and takes it back when it starts to rain.

BOY SCOUT: A child dressed like an asshole under the leadership

of an asshole dressed like a child.

CONSULTANT: Someone who uses your wife's watch, tells you the

time, and then charges you for it.

DIPLOMAT: Someone who tells you to go to hell in a way which

makes you eager to start the journey.

ECONOMIST: An expert who will know tomorrow why that which he

predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

FRIEND: Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that

"Jene sais quoi" which eliminates any desire to ever try and sleep with them..


PESSIMIST: Optimist with experience.

PROGRAMMER: Someone who fixes a problem you didn't know you had

in a way you don't understand.

PSYCHOLOGIST: Someone who looks at everyone else when an

attractive woman enters the room.

STATISTICIAN: Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the

personality to be an engineer.